my shit smells like andre
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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