I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
