one might say we're banned from that church
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
