wat bout pragnant strippers??
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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