I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
