i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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