Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize