good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
MIDGETS
????
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
