i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
