Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
