That's intense
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
