and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
