My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
