He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
