I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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