You made me cry and you don't even care
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
