I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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