i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
