she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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