tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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