GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Operation Purity has been aborted
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
