I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
