I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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