RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
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