I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
ttyl tear gas
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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