If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
