Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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