But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
