So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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