she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
