I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
