Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
