So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It's Friday. Sex?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
