Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
