just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
