On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's blow job season.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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