id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think people are normalizing furries
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
