You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
