They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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