Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
