He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
