I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
