So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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