i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
