In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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