The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
