So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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