Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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