He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
