i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize