Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Green mimosas i think yes
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
