So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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