Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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