my shit smells like andre
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
