Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Small penises have feelings too.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
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He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
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I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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