I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
