I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
