i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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