so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
