worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
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it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
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Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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