I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
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I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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