My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
