These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
