Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
